Longing for it
wishing I could do it again
it is funny that my worrying about you
has turned me back to it
to the very thing I am trying to make you stop
I am cutting again
and people think it is all in fun
for the attention they say
all I have to tell them
is try being me for a day
I watch that little stream
the blood slipping away
I wonder will I cut to deep
will I want to some day
why do I do this
I wish I could explain
it is the only way
I can let go of my pain
I can no longer cry
for tears are not ever lasting
and if you had as much as I to cry about
you would run out
and need some other way
some other escape
that crying cannot bring
but what is your excuse
my life sucks you say
but have you taken a moment to think
about all the people who love you
about all the things you could do
you want to know what makes life sucks
all the shit I have been through
I’ve been through a rape
through being kicked out
not talking to my mother for months
leaving me in doubt
that I am able to be loved
by anyone
now you tell me
have you ever had any of that
can you still remember his face
as I can
do you have to block rape
out of your head
do you have to think at such a young age
you were made in to a sex toy
for someone who "loved" you
did that happen
please tell me
the one who should be killing herself
is me
but no I am trying to help you
from what ever is wrong
I don’t know what to do
but you tell me
do you really want to try walking in my shoes
feeling my pain
cause only then
would you have an excuse
to cause your own pain.
This poem is for a girl I know who has been in a depressed mood and talking about killing her self. Every thing in this is true
The rape happened when I was 4
I got kicked out at 11
I didnt talk to my mom for 10 months Last year
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