I Will Until My Dying Day

I don't want to beg anymore
Not for a friend who cannot care
Not for a midnight sigh of relief
Or an answered and heard prayer

I need a stability I can count on
Something that would never let me down
This blood is becoming and enemy
Inside its crimson rope, I drown

My knees are scarred from crawling
And my hands are cold and torn
My face is stained with the tears
And the fake smiles I have worn

The walls I built around my heart
Are crumbling within my soul
And the comforting warmth I had
Is leaving my body numb and cold

The blade I often turned to
Has lost its relieving graceful touch
I miss the way it dried my tears
Oh, I miss it oh so much

If there\'s a God, and he existed
By now, I assumed he\'d see me
But either he\'s not there, or never was
Because he has yet to come and free me

I've done everything in my power
I've used my strength when I was weak
I wiped away my every lonely tear
That burned its pathway from my cheek

I'm lost inside a darkened room
With blood stained walls and jailed windows
Outside the trees sway from laughter
And the demons wind that billows

But I repaired my every break
And I've stood up on broken bones
Just to prove to the devil-like figure
That I'm stronger on my own

But alas, my days are numbered
And the reasons for life are fading
The voices I've locked up tight
Are planning, and now invading

With my back against my bare wall
I slide down and scream in pain
The heart I've lost somewhere inside me
Is thumping in my brain

Tears just stream out of my eyes
And I put my head into my hands
Rocking back and forth in silence
Conjuring up suicide plans

I used to have hope to rely on
But it left me frozen in the night
Stealing all my faith in angels
And my small amount of light

So now I rely on imagination
And day-dreaming to guide my way
I'll carry myself through the darkness
Until my very last, dying day

^ yeah, so this really needs some work.