sarah this is a great poem, just like all of your poems, you have such a way with words its amazing!

Cute poem. You're style of writing is awesome! I love reading your work... It flows so smoothly and the way you've strung your words together is wonderful Keep writing, I want to read some of your new work. Feel free to check out any/all of my poems... I'm guessing you'd probably like "Every Little Thing That You Do". I know it's long, but if you haven't already read it, then please do, I think you'll like it.
Great job!
-Kate

I'd agree... it's a cute poem. And in that vein I would keep the last stanza.

But if you want to make it a bit more serious, I would work on the final lines of the last stanza. But to do so would change the tone of the entire poem... which you may not want to do because it's quite sweet as it is.

P.S.: And no, the poem doesn't suck. First thing I would do to not only this poem but all where you've added such additions to the poem is to take out all the self-deprecative comments. Such comments are completely inaccurate and unnecessary. Don't do that to yourself. :)

this is a unique poem it is cute though i got to say. i like it. hey i always say write how you feel. express your feelings and thats what you do. and i enjoy reading your poems. great job!!!!
take care
-bobby-