Joining my baby in heaven

I had no choice my child
It was you or him
I'm sorry you didn't have a chance
And that I let him win.

I loved this guy to pieces
So much I let you go
Would you have been a boy or girl?
This I will never know.

The day I went and had you removed
The memories won't depart
I knew deep down I didn't want to
But I didn't listen to my heart.

He said if you existed
He would up and go
He said to have an abortion
And pathetic me did so.

4 weeks later he left me
So here I'm all alone
Depressed and I need my baby
The one I wasn't allowed to own.

So whilst you're up in heaven
My life I cannot bear
So baby if you'll forgive me
I'm going to join you up there.