Box of Memories..

The box of memories in the closet to hide,

As i open them up i let out a sigh.

A part of my child hood hidden away in a box,

But in my heart its hidden with locks.

I wasn't that happy even as a child,

My anger took over and my smiles were mild.

I had so much anger, so much hatred to my family,

That I was horrible to them, and I'm really sorry.

But in this box none of that is found,

Just some old pictures I colored with crayons.

Letters from old pen pals, old pictures of friends,

Which we slowly drifted apart, my heart will never mend.

The confusion of my life when i was no older then three,

Was the worst I've dealt with especially for me.

The weekends brought fear, in which I'd make myself sick,

So I wouldn't have to see my father,so my mother i wouldn't miss.

I never was a happy person, there was always something there,

Making me quiver and hover in fear.

My childhood not simple, but complex and incomplete

As I start crying living in defeat.

For all I wanted as a child was the true love of a father,

But now i sit here and think why even bother.

He missed out on the memories, he's not found in this box,

He missed out on the opportunity to open the heart of locks,

He always made promises he could never keep,

And when he didn't go through with them alone in my room i would weep.

So in this box of memories there is an empty space,

Reserved for the love of my father, which can never be replaced.