Tears (Part 1 of My Story)

1 The Hurt
All evening she cried, then
such anger came out from her heart
in a single second,
as demanding as an angry girl is supposed to.
When the hurt hit, her heart was
permanently broken.

2 The Boy
Yesterday, during school, some of the boys talked
to these girls in the corner of the gym.
In suspicion he wondered if he could do it,
he had to is he was ever to be with her.
In suspicion he walked, step by step
closer to her.
Even in a group of people he still
felt alone.
But there was still that urge of breaking down
or giving up on her.

What does hurt feel like when you lose it, as though
it was a glove, or that sock in the drier?
What does hurt feel like when you lose it, as though
it was an orphan puppy, or a pencil in a locker?
What does hurt feel like when you lose it, as though
it was your last breathe, last drink, or a person who you will never get to hold?

3 Silence
This one day: on a day where I didn't make her cry,
her boyfriend,
lying under his car,
motionless and cold,
dragged from underneath the stopped car
with the wind shield broken, spread across a field
from the highway. My mother
shouted,
then came the ambulance,
then is when I stared death in its eyes,
then they took his lifeless away.
From the house to the car I
looked back for some reason
looking back for my mother, who had been crying,
who was standing motionless, in the road,
who was that sorry lost soul,
who was the blurry figure I saw through my tears.

4- Late Evening, My Calming
As lightening bugs began to flutter
among the tall grass.
The birds lay down among the blue berries
and the vines.
What should I think, what should I think>

My tears are quiet.
The pillow muffles it.
Even the sheets.
The materials soak it up.
What should I think, what should I think?

The grasshopper sits in her window ledge.
The cardinal goes to his nest.
The fish return to their abyss.

The evenings are no more majestic, I wonder,
than the peep frogs.
And I wish not to change, to be smarter, to change
the earth out of chaos into the field
of peace, to show tranquility that is (is not) a
way in life.

5-Birth
She emerges into the world,
and grasps on to her first breathe of life.

6-The Fantasy
The colors
intense feeling,
the loves
strong tranquility,
the soured heart.

Love, hate, sorrow.
Forgiveness.

I gave everything I had to give right
in front of him: my heart, dignity, soul,
the very thing that makes me...me.
Feelings so be sought
in tear drenched sorrow.

7-Escape
This night
out of my window
flies a butterfly
so graceful
fluttering
softly
through the rough winds,
and the cold night
to get away
from the hurt.
I don’t understand
what my purpose is
on this earth.
I don’t understand
What my purpose is
in my home.
In a distant future
maybe time will tell
and give reason to my hurt.
In a distant future
maybe time will tell
and give reason to my hurt.
In a distant future a
new life emerges.