Excellent poem, and thank you for the comments. As for ways to improve... The First two paragraph's were excellent and flowed nicely, the last sectiion it seemed like the rhyming was a little forced, remember, poems don't have to rhyme. Also, pay attention to syllables in a sentence, the poems will be smoother if the sentences are even or close. Hope I helped, regardless, it was an amazing poem. Please keep reading and writing. take care