At the tone

by Mild insomnia   Nov 17, 2004


I should have suspected, when you, closed the door,
You hadn’t said it, but it was clear, you cared no more,
And when I called you, no one picked up the phone,
It rang for ages, before I left, at the tone…

Sweetie ring me back, when you get chance,
There’s things I gotta say,
When this reaches you, please call back soon,

And that was yesterday.
The vodaphone you’re calling,
May have been switched off,
And the signal’s falling,
I just hope it’s enough,
To wish you,
Somehow knew,
I love you.

How could I have missed the, marks on your arm?
All the tiny scratches from your months of self-harm,
I should have seen this coming, guess I was blind,
And now that it’s too late, the answers I suddenly find.

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Latest Comments

  • 19 years ago

    by in the realm of Chaos

    suggestions:

    1)all the punctuation in this poem make it sound choppy. interrupts flow.

    2) at the beginning of the poem i thought it was gonna be sort of like an iambic pentameter, but then this whole "middle section" threw me off, and it ends in a totally diff. way. maybe if u stayed consisten in the layout this wouldnt give the readers the wrong impression

    what i liked:

    1) the rhyming was excellent
    2) the ending was eh.. but i loved the begining
    3) 5/5 stars!