Black

Completely out of touch with life
Feelings are so obscure
I want, I need, I crave
But I still receive no cure

Countless insecurities
Are blooded and flooding my brain
I hope to escape this melody
And the haunting harmony of pain

But my timid eyes swell with tears
And they burn down my face
I cannot bear to look at myself
I know, I'm a "disgrace"

I don't make sense anymore
My poems have lost all their effect
I'm trying to reach to someone
But I just can't seem to connect

I'm broken, I'm fading, I'm dying
And no one takes me seriously
When I say there's something wrong
They just look at me curiously

I'm broken down on all fours
Crawling on smoking embers
I'm that girl that lost her way
The one that no one remembers

Captivated by means of escape
Failing trial, one after another
Secrecy beats my mindless head
Theres so much inside to discover

Stability caves beneath me
Bloodied screams tear at my throat
As if strong hands are thrusting
Their thumbs, and so, I choke

I envy those that smile
With real emotion, and don't think twice
I long to feel what they feel
Once in a while, it would be nice

Tonight is the hardest of nights
I don't how I'm still here, or why
I don't know my reasons for living
Or why I find it necessary to try

But I've learned not to question it all
Because I end up right where I started
Bashed in, bruised, and mangled
And most likely, broken hearted

Emotions are off the charts today
Up, down, sideways, front, back
The only thing constant is pain
And a mimicking world of black