Took Some Pills Pt. 1

**This is very long but please if you read this, read the next part. It would mean so much to me if you do. Thank you.**

The pressure was unbelievable today
I tried to take it out on my wrist
But it didn’t seem to please me as well

I can still feel the pain. I want to be numb.
Without thinking, I take a few pills.
Maybe it will help.

When I stepped outside
It was a bitter cold
The breeze was enough to freeze

As I went to school
I hung out with the usual crowd
I smiled and laughed like I was happy.

The pain was eating me alive.
My stomach growled from not eating.
My smile was immediately erased.

No one noticed but that was okay
I held onto my stomach as I felt more pain.
The bell rang but faded from my ears.

Everyone walked away and left me alone
I didn\'t realize school begun until they were gone.
So I hurried to my class, now late.

There was a test and I was unprepared.
I was the last one done but I think I barely passed.
After that, I fell asleep for the rest of the period.

As I was dreaming a silent nightmare,
I was running from my mind
But seemed to end up where I began.

Someone was shaking me
Telling me to go to my next class
I woke up heavily and got up.

I ran to the bathroom and opened my purse.
I made sure no one was in there
And I took out my blade.

I looked at my wrist and sliced my skin.
A dark red line appeared so friendly.
Now some pressure had been lifted.

I hurried up to class.
Oh great, its choir, I have to sing.
For some reason I love Christmas songs.

But then it depresses me because of home.
This is the time when everything gets worse.
I hope God is with me this year.

This time I didn\'t sing the joyful songs.
I just listened to the beautiful harmony.
How wonderful even for a moment.

I began to daydream and before I knew it
Class was already over.
Now third period will begin.

In the hallway I was trying to hurry
But as I went by I saw someone.
He looked so familiar.

I know that face.
I know that smile.
I know that wink.

My worst fear consumed my body.
I began to collapse as he walked to me.
The girl behind me tried to catch my fall.

I shut my eyes so tight.
I didn’t want to see his face.
The memories of that night flooded to me.

In my mind, I screamed silently
As I remembered what happened.
The same smile flashed before my eyes.

His voice haunting my thoughts.
Still saying, now wasn’t that fun?
After he was done raping me.

Go away! I yell. Get out of my mind!
I never want to see or hear you again!
I silently cry, but it doesn’t go away.

I open my eyes. I am now in class.
I have no idea what happened.
The girl beside me asked if I was okay.

I said not a word and got up.
I went to a guy and asked if he had anything.
He looked at me and knew what I meant.

Out of his pocket he drew out some pills.
He asked if I took anything else today.
I lied and said no.

He gave me four pills all are different.
He asked if I ate this morning,
I lied again and said yes.

I didn’t ask what the pills were.
Giving me his water, he gave a weird look.
But he said nothing and I took the pills.

They took effect in less than ten minutes.
And already I was dangerously happy.
The guy noticed how different I looked.

I accidentally told him that I lied.
That I took more pills and never ate.
He looked very worried.

The bell rang for next class, before he could say a word.
Good thing, it was only a few doors away.
I stumbled in and there was Logan sitting at his desk.

He used to like me, I used to like him.
But something changed when I started to know him.
He began to be a jerk on drugs.

I walked up to him and acted like nothing was wrong.
He hugged me and I started to laugh.
He laughed too then looked into my eyes.

He looked in them so deeply
And asked me if were okay.
I giggled and said of course I am.

Our teacher walked in.
He always looks at me so funny
Especially when I wear a cute skirt.

He coaches volleyball and teaches health.
We’re his only health class
And I’m the only girl in there.

One time he took me into his private office
And just stared me down until finally
He asked me to help with something.

I felt so weird that it was scary,
But I don’t want to get into that
Because I hate thinking about it.

Anyways, coach said to us,
“We’re going to join the other health class”
He looked directly at me and smiled.

I got that weird feeling again and Logan saw.
He grabbed my arm and walked with me.
I kept laughing and he asked me seriously,

“What did you take?”
I looked at him and wanted to say nothing,
But instead I told him I took some pills.

He asked what kind and I didn’t know.
I told him the color and he looked scared.
He made sure he sat next to me in the other class.