I'm thankful

I could tell something was wrong by the way you looked at me when you walked in the door.. i was gonna ask what was the matter but thought twice and decided it would be best to keep my mouth shut.. for when i did you opened yours but nothing came out.. a tear fell from your right eye and fell to the floor.. you looked at me with your sad eyes and they told me to speak.. i asked what happened and you shook your head and i asked is it me? and you said no.. then you added it's your best friend.. i asked what about her?.. you said she's dead.. i gasped and ran out the door you ran after me and caught me down the street sitting on the ground with my head in my hands crying.. you leaned down and held me in your arms while we both cried.. i asked how she died and you said "suicide because she thought you were mad at her because you never returned her calls".. i was devastated this tragic moment changed the way i thought about life.. at first i thought i can get over it and find someone new then i started to think i can't do it without her by my side through every step so i went to the blade and every night i would pray that i wouldn't live another day but I'm thankful I'm still here..