Because you pushed and shoved

Lying here awake
remembering those lies
misleading me from innocence
you never heard my cries

maybe you did hear them
but did not want to help
instead you chose to string me along
not knowing the love i felt

this love i still feel for you
an end i cannot see
instead all vision shows more of the
same
more dreaded misery

they ask me why do i
let you carry on again
how you are all I'm living for
i can never quite explain

my dreams are now filled
with repeat of hurt and fears
caused by you of course, who else?
could watch as i dropped my tears

that smirk upon your face
filled with pleasure and of gain
only appeared when you looked over
to see my eyes filled with pain

and as that smile spread
you will never understand
how you crushed my hearts last pieces
as you sent me from this land

because you see, my love
i am no longer really here
this is just a mask from reality
from open wounds and fear

so you see my dear
even if you wanted to
you can no longer save me from myself
theres nothing you can do

apart from sit ad watch
as you have before
i hope it brings you pleasure again
as i hopelessly fall to the floor

and i hope you are pleased
this is because you pushed and shoved
i can no longer feel except for pain
because you messed and played with my love