Unyielding Image

As I lie
thinking about today
and how this moment
will always stay in my mind,
ad mist the heavy tears,
the asking of why
love is so sad,
ad mist the
mutter of light words
of hate...
I see your face.
So irresistible...
so sweet and tempting.
Why I ask myself
why torture
myself like this...
when hate is supposed
to fill up my mind,
I only see your face
make me want
to crawl into a tight knot
and stay there
and watch
the stars slowly fall away
over a million years...
never alive
and never deceased.
Your image...
those memories I have of
our silent love
has been played
over and over.
Ad mist the hatred
and the tears,
I only see your face.
It is only god who knows
what you're true feelings are...
I should just
die trying
to get myself in your arms,
they should belong to me
and no one else,
my name should
be engraved in your heart...
but I cannot
love you and hate you.