The pain of the day has worn me down
The shock of things people have unveiled have left me delirious, With not a smile nor a frown
Left here not knowing what to think
Left without emotion,
Sadness begins to override and happiness begins to sink
So here I am,
Standing alone,
Letting the hot water flow over my body, down my neck and down my upper arm,
Until suddenly I let out a pain filled moan,
For the water’s just began to touch the newly created red cuts up and down my for-arm,
Just as if the devil was reaching into my soul,
Tearing apart my heart
Patronising me long enough to let me live,
Then leaving me to wither and fall,
The pains so terrible I begin to feel light headed
Yet the cuts did help, I’ll never regret it
So I push away the pain
Try to over look it, get it out of my brain
As I stand here with a warm contempt
My thoughts begin to wander
I begin to think of death, depression and I feeling or worthlessness
I begin to shiver in side, as these emotions are too strong
Depression takes hold even if depression in teenagers is wrong
I rest my head against the shower door,
With a feeling of emptiness
I slowly slide down to the shower floor,
I wrap my arms around my legs,
As I begin to sway myself in a petty attempt to rid myself from the depressing thoughts
But the images are still there, alive as ever, alive just to haunt
I rest both eyes on my kneecaps as to plunged into darkness
Now I’m nothing more than a girl curled up on the shower floor
How long I sit like this is unclear,
As I sit here I loose sense of time and reality
Only do I hear the water all around me
As I begin to believe I’m in a thunderstorm with nowhere safe to retreat,
I here the loud droplets of water pounding down on my body,
Slowly they turn into gunshots,
I hear people screaming and dieing
Then all the droplets merge into a loud simultaneous crashing sound
I think I’m in a car crash with my family dieing with me being helpless as I watch them disappear,
Suddenly I awake from my delusions,
To find myself with my hands running through my hair as if trying to take out the confusion
As I open my eyes I can feel the sting of the shampoo,
But that’s nothing compared to what I just lived through,
I look up to where the water comes from, not even flinching as it hits my already red eyes,
I close them again and I can almost feel the sins washing away
I feel what I think might be a tear,
But with water all around me,
It could just be another imagined fear.
So I stand up, turn the water off and get out
Only I know what happened,
The rest of the world doesn’t know what happened on the floor of my shower,
The rest of the world doesn’t know the emotions I lived through for that 3 and a half-hours.
