If You Only Understood:(

If you only understood
how each word feels
as it hits my blackened heart
you've killed it with words and so i have spoken
i used to care
i used to be happy
but i am no longer
i feel crappy
if you only understood

my body is quaking full of these words that have been said
i lay to the ground
and sob again
thats the only way i can go on again
i went on back too school
and you slugged me
you pushed me down and said i was dumb
you cursed and hollered and went at it again
if you only understood

i went back home my body shaking
i never said a word to my folks just walked to bed
i took out a rope
i knew it was over
everyday the worst of them all
i strung it round the ceiling
tied it round my neck
pulled it tight and leaped off my bed
my neck snapped tight
and shook me good
the last thing i saw was the tears of sadness soaking in my eyes
if you only understood

all thats left is the tears on the floor
the bruise on my neck
and my locked door
I'm sorry it had to be done
i was alone
my heart was cold
why would anyone do this
if you only understood

Hey id like some feedback on this Ive never written a poem in my life