I'm hurting myself everyday.
But no one seems to notice.
Because I don't show it.
I don't want people to know.
Deep down inside I'm hurting.
I never tell anyone.
Because I don't want anyone to know the truth.
I try to fight it, but the pain keeps winning.
I keep telling myself that it will change.
But right now I don't think that it will.
The pain is because I'm denying something to myself.
When it's really the opposite, because I can't deny it.
Everybody knows the truth about most of it.
But the rest will remain a mystery.
Till I tell someone.
But right now I can't I don't want to hurt this person, even though he hurt me before.
I'm saving him from a lot of pain and hurt.
Because what I have locked up inside isn't good for him to know.
I want him to be happy.
But in return I can't be happy with him.
I try to keep the pain inside a little box with a lock on it.
And only one person doesn't know that they hold the key to my happiness.
Even though I wish they did know.
So I could get rid of all this pain and guilt that's inside.
And finally be happy again.
But I can't be happy when everything is locked up and
can't escape the box that has been locked by the person who holds the key.
That person doesn't know that they hold the key.
And right now I don't think that they will realize that they do.
Until they come around and realize that they are needed.
And that they are loved by me.
But the person who holds the key.
He makes me happy, makes me feel safe, and makes me feel protected.
But he can't realize it.
I've tried and tried, but nothing seems to work.
I wish I could get him to realize that I need him for at least one thing...
and that is to get rid of all this pain and guilt.
By opening the locked box with the key and releasing it.
But I can't seem to get him to at least do that for me.
I keep hurting myself.
Because of pain and guilt that's locked up.
And the person who holds the key doesn't know.
*This is true about the way I feel...please comment and vote.*
