Pills, drink and cuts

I'm sitting here drunk
pills have been took
not enough to kill me
but enough to be shuck
not enough to kill me, not enough to die
but still enough to restore me
for a little while
and when all this wears off
I'll go and get a knife
I'll go and slit my leg, my wrist
and think of another life
I'll look into the mirror
look at what I've become
i feel so betrayed
i feel so ashamed
of this life that I've took on
no one has a clue of the way i feel inside
and if anyone found out
i would cut until i died
i know that i need help
i know i shouldn't cry
but the fact is i can't help it
and i don't know why.