I want to die so badly because no one understands
they don't know I take drugs to ease my pain
when I run out I cut up my arms
when my arms are full I do salt and ice
it doesn't hurt me like it hurts some people who do the same as me
it never did hurt and it never will hurt
people tell me it's temporary but I know doing this stuff like I do is permanent
I will never get over what happened in my past
or how many f-u-c-k-e-d up things will happen in my short future
I am addicted to pain and not remembering what happened the day before
I act like I'm on drugs even when I'm not
that is how bad I am addicted right now
I refuse to go to therapy because there I have no choice but to say my pain and how I feel
but I like it better to know I can take drugs and forget everything
I love to feel like I can do whatever I want
--whoo sorry kinda weird I was just expressing how I feel.. if you know how I feel or have any suggestions to help me I would really appreciate it.. I think I really need the help.. but yes all of what is written is true--
