Unspoken Sadness

They look but no-one sees me
My tears, my anguish and grief
For someone to reach and see why I
Could never be truly happy

My friends had gone and left me
In my room, I was all alone
The knife was cold and comforting
My life I wanted to own

I watched you as you walked along
To a place I never could reach
A land so pure, that I couldn’t have been
What I felt was the real me

When I walked my thoughts were painful
So real but no-one could see
The scars and wounds, inflicted because
I couldn’t live the life that I need

Why would you see me as I walked past?
My life was as good as lived
For I saw no future bereft of pain
Only doing what others started

An empty chair beside me
That heard my tears and anguished pleas
To bring salvation or even hope
For my mind to be put at ease

And I lay there thinking why
Would you of wanted me when all I could see
This disfigured heart and face
That continuously repulsed even me

If you bothered to look, you only would find
A ragged old soul, a single black void
Bereft of emotion, laughter and song
I barely found just what I needed

The dark, the constant that never had left
I took solace in the arms of a king
That was always there, should I feel real joy
And carry me back down with him

It was only when I watched this world
With a tear rimmed view I could see
That there couldn’t be bad, or even worse
For an earthbound soul like me

So I wondered why I stayed there
When my soul could be set free
It’s for one day, that precious day
To wake up, and not ask-Why me?

I’d sat there then and read this
Now tear stained letter and plea
And remind you that I tried to live-
To lead the life you wanted for me

But don’t you fret, for I’ll ever be near
Just think of me smiling and see
That the life I lived, and however short
Was enhanced when you were with me

Just look over your shoulder
And I will be there
Coaxing and urging you on
For I loved and cherished the girl that you were
And the woman that you will become

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