Second chance?

Behind this wall of angry barriers,
Through which you cannot see
Is a lifetime of endurance
And a lack of sanity.

They say you drove me to the edge,
Though you never had a car,
Believe you pushed me to self harm
Yet you never saw a scar.

Punched the smile off my face,
But thats not why I'm always frowning,
Threw me hard into a lake of tears
But thats not why I'm drowning.

Ive had so many chances now,
To leave you far behind,
But whats the point - your memory,
Is etched into my mind.

Maybe they'll lock you up tonight,
And throw away the key,
Yet id still cry a million tears,
Not one of them for me.

We're all given second chances,
So why the hell not you,
And this is my decision,
Here's what i plan to do.

I'll leave you further behind than they meant,
Embraced by an angels tear,
looking down upon our little house,
To see you find me here.

Yet I see no devastation,
Play cruelly across your smile,
Instead you softly chuckle,
And stay a little while.

Gazing at my broken body,
Touching my faded form,
This isn't a change that I'm seeing in you,
Your the same man you were before.

So you wont see me back before daybreak,
I'll never return to your lair,
How could you prey on an innocent soul,
Of your own flesh and blood - its not fair!

My face buried deep in these wings,
I cant bear to glance down at you now,
But i hope you realize we're forever apart,
I, in heaven and you lost in hell.