Dear God, Im Sorry

God,

when I was conceived,
it was out of lust.

a baby unexpected,
was surely to be mis-directed.

so God,
why am I subjected,
to deep amounts of hate,
to sound materials of possession,
and sadness all, but mis-directed?

its so hard to know that I'm,
going not to snow...
for God,
why did you let it be so?

isn't there a cheat code,
one in which you can type,
enter, and repeat,
until I'm non-existent...right?

God,
its so hard to realize,
that in this world of cries,
that I amongst these many,
will be burdened to die and die?

dear God,
I don't love thee,
I don't know thee,
I don't want thee,
so why create me?

I wish it wasn't so,
that me, so mentally ill,
is burdened not to snow.

God,
take pity on my soul,
the one that didn't want to know...
that didn't care to see,
what life, even after,
held especially for me...

please forgive what I must do,
and silence all you ever knew.

cause God,
I didn't want creation,
its become a deep dark starvation...

I'm not sleeping,
I'm just weeping,
dear God cant you see?
you failed at me...

a creation so unhappy,
that it seeks for nothing more,
that a nothingness score.

God,
I'm so sorry.

I just dont want to be anymore.