Lonliness

Here I am
So blind and immature
Making wrong decisions
What exactly am I living for?

Can it be my hopes and dreams?
To live a life of poverty
Not in money but sentimental things
Always feeling insecurity

Why can’t I live as someone else?
Never having to worry about my health
Living the dream life
Emotional and economic wealth

Bills are always paid
Never worrying about the price
Having a family that loves me
All this seems so nice

A girl like me could never live this way
I live in constant worry
Always running and watching my back
Seeming like imp in a hurry

With no place to go
I stand alone here
Watching and waiting for something to go wrong
Loneliness being my main fear

I must go back
I can’t do that again
I don’t want to live my life
With pain as my best friend

3 years of therapy
Unsolved problems still lingering
A knife in my hand
My mind mingling

Cuts on my legs
Pants hiding the scars
Bruises the size of golf balls
An older me looking on from afar

Tired of staring at blood
But I don’t know what else to do
I don’t have anywhere else to run
Nobody to turn to

I just want to lead a normal life
Without this pain and fear
Where bloodshed is unheard of
A life in which I must not shed a tear