I loved you so much when I was a kid.
I always forgave you no matter what you did.
I didn't care what you did wrong.
I did that because your my mom.
I loved you I stood up for you.
And what do you do?
You turn your back on me.
And that was something that I didn't want to see.
I made up reasons why you did that.
Why you turned your back.
Your boyfriend beat me day in and day out.
You left me I had a lot of doubt.
I was your reason for living.
But now I look back and your asking for my forgiving.
What you did left me scarred.
I look back on my life and see that it was hard.
Moving from house to house.
Living my life with a lot of doubt.
That chairleg was the worst.
I look back now and it still hurts.
God, why have you forsaken me?
You left me there to be.
You left me there to be beaten.
And be mistreated.
I was only five.
You left me barely alive.
My two sisters were my reason for my being.
You left me on my knee's pleading.
God, I hate you.
You left him to do.
His worst.
And now that burns.
Mom, you picked your beer over me.
And you made that clear to see.
I remember you hitting and kicking me with him at your side.
That night I wish I would have died.
I ran but only got a mile.
When I ask you why you face me with denial.
Both of you hit and kicked.
Right then and there it clicked.
Your not worthy for me or my sisters.
I knew that when I had blisters.
Blisters from that belt.
Blisters that made my love for you melt.
I think of it now and reach for my gun.
I think about it and think of what you've done.
Some mother.
I'm glad you didn't get to do this to my brother.
My two sisters and little brother are my life.
You ruined my life.
Now I have flashbacks of being hit.
And it takes awhile to get a grip.
Nobody can see my dreams.
Nobody can hear my silent screams.
Nights on end I would hold my sisters in my arms and pray this would be over.
And that my dying would come closer.
Because LOOK AT ME.
My pain is easy to see.
Now I suffer at your cost.
Now I suffer because I'm lost...
