To many things wrong

I keep wanting to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
I want to escape this world i can't find myself in.
In the dark i am left alone
Hard to see the pain i feel so deep inside
Feeling an emptiness inside
I want to fill
But i can't figure out whats so wrong with me

Was it my heartache of losing someone so close to me?
Was it because i found out my best friend had cancer?
Was it because I got rejected by the one i love?

So many things rush through my head all at once
I close my eyes
Things get darker
I open them
I find myself in a corner of an empty room
I wish i didn't have to do this

I wish i could just cry and after wards things would be better.
But this is the only pain i can control
So many things keep happening
I can't take it
The pressure
The sadness
The emptiness I tend to feel
My heart can take only so much.
But all i see is me.
The one who can't handle anything
The one who can't do anything right

I see tears fall from my eyes
I know cutting is wrong
I know its not worth doing it
But it seems like its come to this.
I can't take living in this world i am forced to live in

Things used to be so easy
Why have they became so difficult?
I lay myself down close my eyes
Pray to God
I will lose myself.
And never see life again

But I don't think he hears me
I guess
no one can hear me..
Because I'm trapped in my own self.