One Little Reason...

Just give me one little reason to live,
Tell me just what life has to give.
If you can give me one that’s good,
I wont shoot myself, like I said I would.
Just don’t tell me this is rainy weather,
That will pass, and
What would fix my cold heart is a sweater.
Don’t tell me to think of my friends,
They’ll be fine; I have given all my amends.
Don’t tell me now that I'm sober,
This world will be easier to handle,
I’ve relapsed before; AA to me is a scandal.
I’ve worked the program,
I’ve done it right,
12 steps taken with difficult strife.
Don’t tell me the charges will be dropped,
I deserve what I will get, but it will be one single shot.
Don’t tell me not to pull the trigger,
It’s loaded and ready,
But to me this is bigger.

This isn’t just about getting out,
This, to me, will calm shrill shouts,
This is about the shit that I did,
Stocking and haunting me since I was a kid.
This isn’t about just being gone,
This is sweet redemption I’ve needed too long.
This isn’t about the drugs and the lies,
The ones that have passed had meaningless lives.

So here I am,
The cartridge has been loaded,
And my opinion is the only one that has voted,
I have found life to be,
Meaningless, lacking reason,
And if I am found to be guilty of treason,
God banish me to the depths of hell,
It has to be better than here, I can tell.

Here the gun goes, up to my head,
I see it above, like I’m already dead.
I lick the gun, metallic taste,
My life is yet another superfluous waste.
I hear the click as I cock the gun,
I hear the bang, now it’s done.

Please, please, vote and comment! They are important to me. I try to comment back everyone who has commented me. Thanks everyone.
With love, K. Kristina