Locked Door...

A void inside,
Dark and twisted,
Drilling my heart,
Hard to resist it.

I thought the pills would make me better,
All they have done is make my teary face wetter,
I thought the drinks would kill my pain,
Yet all they have created is a life of vain.

So hear I am,
Alone once more,
No one to stop me,
I’ve locked the door.

How many times have I stared through the rain?
Thinking of how to make my world whole again?
Too many times I have sat on the couch,
Drowning in loneliness, holding this pouch.

And here I sit,
With my pouch once more,
No one to stop me,
I’ve locked the door.

I pour them out; sift them in my hand,
White and small, paid tickets into next land.
I look up at the ceiling, bite my lip,
Working myself up to take the sip.

I put each pill in the bottle,
One by one, I slowly doddle,
I shake it when they have all gone in,
My fateful drink of death and sin.

I bring the bottle to my lips,
Quivering,
Shaking,
I chug as I sit.

I let out a gasp,
Tears of release,
I know I will be gone,
Finally deceased.

Here I lie,
The pouch on the floor,
No one could have stopped me,
I locked the door.

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