Alone

I sit in a crowded room, yet still feel alone
No one pays me any mind
It’s agony, like I’ve been hit with a stone

No one seems to see me, it’s like I’m not there
Outside I’m calm inside I’m screaming
Isn’t anyone there? Doesn’t anybody care?

They’re all blind to my pain; maybe it’s not so obvious
It’s even confusing to me
But still, can they really all be so oblivious?

It’s stress, pain, sorrow, and anger all building inside me
There’s only one way to let it out
So, I do in places where no one can see

I may not use a blade, but my method works just fine
I feel relieved afterwards
That’s really all that matters most of the time

Sometimes the ache to let out my pain is just so bad
I feel dizzy from everything inside
I lock myself in the bathroom, then make up stories to tell dad

He wouldn’t understand, all he wants for me to be perfect
So how could I ever tell him what I do?
So, I go on by myself, giving him nothing to detect

Very few understand how I am, and still I’m reluctant to speak of it
It’s easier to put the words on paper than to make them form in my throat
But I know I’ll never be cured if I can’t talk about it

Would therapy help? I really don’t know
Sometimes I think it would
Than others, I wonder what those diplomas really show

They tell you why you do what you do and how to fix it
But do they understand how you feel?
Do they have the right to tell you what to do if they never felt it?

But my parents wouldn’t send me to therapy; we don’t have the cash
I don’t know if I want to tell a stranger my problems anyway
I don’t think I want to tell my folks; I wouldn’t want to make a splash

So I guess I'll go on with my problem
I’ve already learned to live with it
And keep hiding from all of them

Maybe one day I’ll be cured, maybe I won’t
Does it really matter?
But I don’t think it will if I don’t

I don’t hurt anyone else; it’s only me
That’s really all I need
And I don’t want anyone else to see