Falling slowly out of sight is my once happy family. Some thing has happened, but I can’t put my finger on it. We used to be so happy, but now we are not.
Assuming it will all just pass over, knowing it can’t be like this forever. It came so suddenly, without a warning. I know it will pass just the same way.
Much later, things are still the same. We’re all still fighting, it’s getting worse every day. When can we all be happy again?
It’s so hard to deal with. My little sisters fight with my mom, long into the night. Won’t they just be quiet so that I can’t get to sleep?
Laying there trying to ignore it, but I can’t. The yelling is too loud. I have to stop it. I knew I shouldn’t have done it.
Yet I did it anyways. I was the one that was in trouble that night. I was just the one trying to stop the fighting.
Feeling scared, lonely, and ashamed…as my family slowly fades away more and more. No one knows what’s happened.
Inside my mind, I know that I shouldn’t do what I am about to do, but it helps me deal with my fading family.
Getting the courage to do follow through, I place the blade to my wrist, I pray for the courage to press down, knowing that it should help me deal with it all.
Holding my wrist, trying to get it to stop bleeding, realize that what I just did was not worth the pain. It’s easier to just deal with it, the way I always have.
Turning from the razor, I feel renewed. I don’t know it, but I am about to become addicted to my new friend. It might have been the first and last time in my mind that I was going to cut, but I soon learned that once you start, you don’t stop.
