Not so funny is it?

I get the blade
its in my hand
yes they might laugh,
but they don't understand

they don't feel the pain,
the fear and the dread,
they don't have the praying,
they wish to be dead

maybe if they could see me
if i could only change
maybe things would be different
they wouldn't call me strange

so here i am now waiting,
trying to find that vein,
I'll cut it and hopefully bleed to death,
and hope I'll bring no shame

to try and die and to fail,
would be worse than living at all,
so maybe i should find a building,
and accidentally fall

i go downstairs to find a knife
so dangerous, so sharp
maybe instead of screaming,
an angle will play its harp.

so this is it now
i put it to my wrist,
i start to slit down wards,
trying not to resist

this is what i want
this is what it has come to
now that i have started,
i must follow through

i can see the blood,
running on to my bed
it shouldn't be too long now
until i am dead

if i lay down now,
it should be over soon
my parents are going to find me,
their daughter dead in their room.