Everyday thing

I wake up in the morning
and i throw on the sweet sented armor
I laugh again
I pray today i might win
I put on my pants
I slip on my shirt
trying to push into the back of my head all this dirt
talked to you on the phone last night
you tried to convince me to get rid of the knife
no more scars you say
because it ruins your day
to see me cry and hold onto your side
screaming for acceptance
ignoring the lies
The way I act the smile I put I despise
is actaully a disguise
I do not hide my scars
I do not hide my face
the only thing i hide
is the fact that i am a disgrace
to my parents and to my family
I am nothing special
I feel like sinking into this knifes metal
I can not feel my heart
it is acing in my chest
I can not do much better
I am doing my best
So I will wake up and throw on my smile
put on my shoes
and walk the extra mile
pretend to be happy
hold myself together
only cry around you
and hold you tight to
never letting go
is something hard as you can tell
Pretending to be happy...
is as hard as hell