His Decision led to my suicide

I’m competing against another girl for a guy I love,
I really hope he picks me for I want to be his dove.
I always thought that we would be together util the very end,
But I guess that now that he made his decision I am only his friend.
I wish that I could take back some of the stupid things I said,
Maybe then he would have picked me and my heart wouldn't have to mend.
My heart is broken into 2, to think it was just 1,
But I guess that was before me and him were done.
I feel like all that’s holding me together is a little bit of glue,
Maybe I should hide my true feelings, guess that’s what I will do.
I guess we won’t be together again like I thought,
But I have to say in this competition, I actually fought.
I’m in my room stereo blasting really loud,
I’m crying a lot, I’m so different from this crowd.
I’m cutting so deeply into my flesh letting all the blood flow away,
I wish that he picked me, and then maybe I wouldn’t have to pay,
Cutting is my punishment for all the things I’ve done,
I want to die far away but I can not run.
Really dizzy, I’m close to dying,
My music is so loud no one can hear me screaming or crying.
I’m drenched in so much pain no one knows how I feel,
I liked this guy so much I thought our love was real.
I'm glad he didn’t pick that other girl though,
He picked neither of us, he just let us both go.
Every part of me is drifting away,
To think this is the last time i'll live another day.
I lay here and cry one last tear,
Death. That was my only fear.
There was only one reason why I wanted to die,
To think that his decision led to my suicide.
When it was time to burry me I heard my brother call me a devil,
That didn’t matter for my gravestone said it all, it read “Jennifer Downes 1989-2004. Will love Billy Jones forever.

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