One Moment

Who knew that just a moment,
just a little piece of time
may leave my future hanging
like clothes drying on the line?

I'm not that kind of girl
though I guess they all say that.
If they only knew my mistake
no one would ever believe it.

It was just one night
when I'd had too much to drink.
Next thing I know,
I'm lying in a bed not knowing
what to think.

I found out later,
from a very close friend,
I started all of these things
that should have been put to an
end.

I know what I have to do now
but I'm just too scared to take
the test.
Whatever color the outcome,
I wish I'd just be put to rest.

Should it be positive,
what will I do?
How can I live with it,
after what I put myself through?

Let alone the decisions
I will have to make.
Do I abort,
and make myself fake?

I never believed in that choice,
but I'm second-guessing it now.
It's a live or die situation,
but I ask myself, "How?"

My best friend turned his back
and refused to speak of that
night.
Who will I turn to,
to help me decide what's right?

The only answer I think of
is to turn to my knife.
To cut my wrist and pray it slips,
and inadvertently take my own
life.

PLEASE comment, even if you don't vote. This poem is very personal and I need some feedback. Thanks~Ilene