I don't deserve this life,
never did and never will.
I know you don't understand why I am throwing something so precious away,
but i can't live this way.
I don't want this life, full of tears and struggle.
You're a survivor, you will survive,
I'm weak and every pain slowly kills me.
It hurts and I can't live with this unbearable pain.
My wrists are full of scars no space for new cuts.
But I've found a new way,
and I will follow it.
I'm sorry I have to do this,
I know I promised my parents to stop hurting myself, I know I promised them to stop the suicide attempts, but I can't.
I have failed my life in every possible way that I could.
So this is the death i deserve.
Don't cry, my death will end all my pains and make me smile down on you one day.
You were a great friend, and I wanted to thank you for all the precious moments we shared.
I will take those memories with me and bury them deep into my heart.
You were the one thing that kept me alive for so long, but even that can't help me anymore.
You have to understand that this is not your fault, it is my decision and no one is to blame.
My heart has been broken a million times. Remember him?
i can't believe he led me on n killed me, he took the last drops of love i still had and erased my smile.
But he can't be blamed. It was my own fault i should have been more careful and not open the doors too fast.
Or remember him? I suffocated with his love and just ran away because I felt that he didn't mean it. He can't be blamed, he tried his best and I watched him struggling.
Remember my parents?
Always pushing and pressuring me, until I dropped dead tired.
I couldn't take the disappointment in their eyes when they realized what I was really up to: my second life. But they can't be blamed for it, I couldn't be the daughter they wanted me to be, I failed.
Remember those nights?
Friday nights when we would turn to totally different people. All the illegal things I used to do. These changes slowly killed me not knowing who I was at the end. But it's not your fault, I was just too weak to control myself.
Well, I can feel the end so close, it's calling me and I wish I would have more time to tell you how much I love you!
Newspapers lie, this is the truth, don't read the newspaper tomorrow but continue to live on.
Promise me one thing, be strong and live your life the best you can. I wont be totally gone, I'll live my life through your eyes.
Don't forget me, take me with you wherever you go.
I'll always be close watching upon you forever.
You filled my short life with joy, it just couldn't kill the evil.
Remember you were and will always be my best friend for life.
I didn't regret any moment with you.
You're my sista for life!
bye...
