I love you, I hate you(bulimia)

I hate you, I hate you,
You’re my savior my friend,
I hate you, I hate you,
Stay with me till the end...

You’re a f**cking disease,
But to me, you’re my life;
The world doesn’t get it,
They think all you bring is strife...

But you’re my safe haven,
Without you I feel lost,
So I never let you go,
No matter what it costs.

Or do you have hold of me,
I sometimes really don’t know;
But you never leave my side,
Your there wherever I go...

How dare you make me feel this way!?
How dare you make me bleed?!
How dare you push me further?!
Feel as though I’ll never succeed!

You make me push them all away,
The ones that I love the most.
And the worst part is they listen,
While you sit there and you boast...

You cost me my whole friggin life.
F**ck I’m in tears now can’t you see...
Why is it you won’t let me go,
Just let me be free?

Isn’t 5 years long enough?
Enough time spent over the throne?
Purging out every last ounce of me?
While all along I feel so alone...

Too many hours have been lost...
Too many tears have been cried...
Too many lies have been told....
Too many thoughts “I should have died”....

But you never leave me...
You always are there,
So f**ck, I give up....
Nobody even cares...