This time it is over, I am keeping my heart,
I am going to be strong, and not fall apart,
I will get better, I will no longer cry,
In a couple of weeks, I wont want to die,
I wont want to go back, I will be able to sleep,
It wont hurt so bad, and it wont feel so deep.
But for now I shall hurt, deep down inside,
I look back to before, that moment I died,
Wanting to stay a secret, like walking in the dark,
Where no-one knows me and no-one breaks my heart,
I want to stop my suffering, let go of all the pain,
But the only way to do this is to slice into my vein.
I’m ashamed to say its true, all of what I have done,
And as each scar heals, it’s only just begun,
I live two separate lives, like heaven and hell,
The screams inside my head, so piercing as I yell,
I’ll never be happy, never will I be okay,
I just want it to be over, I hope for this everyday.
So as I stare at the blade beside my bed,
Tears are released because of the things you never said,
The blood stained knife falls from my side,
And I wonder how long ago it was that I died,
Remembering all the good times I shared,
That moment I met you, that moment you cared.
But I don’t have that anymore, it disappeared,
I couldn’t control it, the worst I had feared,
Each time I scream, as I create one more slit,
‘I want this over, this has to be it’
But maybe I will survive just one more night,
As another day comes, I struggle with this fight.
That didn’t last for long, my wish finally came true,
And all of this, because I loved you,
So as I lay there, lifeless and pain free,
I smile inside, for I shall finally be happy,
Rid of those tears that made me want to cry,
Rid of everything that made me want to die.
