Only 13

Reminded of my past
Of nights when I watch the crimson fall
Watching the river of red flow from my skin
Cleaning up the flood I spilled
And feeling completely satisfied of the purging of my pain

Then the next day would come
And I am reminded of the pain I tried to rid
The pain never went away
It was just a temporally release
Then the addiction comes so I let it flood again

Months went on with this cycle
Scars on my arm
Marks of my pain
My little disaster zone
Of all the times the pain was too much

Only 13 I was
With scars that made my skin
A pretty picture don’t you think?
Of a young girl barely alive
Trying to cut away her pain

Nights of sorrow
Of tears gone insane
Cradled in the corner
Wishing death upon myself
Trying to cut the pain away

Now you all can see
The girl that is inside
The one that I hide
The one in much pain
The girl who always asks “Why can’t this pain go away?”

I can still hear her cries
In the tune of a sweet lullaby
Tempting me to go back
Just one last time
“Just let the flood flow one last time”

For years I pretended that lullaby was never there
For days I pretended I couldn’t hear it
For hours I pretended I was fine
And for minutes the war inside was dying
For a second I let the crimson flow one last time

Only 19 I am
Six years has past since the nights of pain.
The temptations is always there
In a sweet lullaby wowing me back again
Letting the instruments look so appeasing

There are some days I want to cave
Take that knife of pain
And cut is all away
But I can no longer think of myself
There are those that truly need my help

The desire I have in me is put aside
And I stand tall to help those once like me
Those who confided in the pain
Those who no longer could understand
That the pain can never be cut away.

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:-( that's what you see.... when i break the mirror...