I know I'm searching for something
of what, I'm not entirely sure
trying to figure out things rite now
why they aren't the way they were
the alcohol lessens the pain
the wounds don't feel so deep
behind my eyes i see all the memories
waking up crying in my sleep
happiness seems so far away
and almost impossible to grasp
I'm holding onto everything i love
trying to somehow make them last
but nothing feels the same to me
no, everything is cold to the touch
maybe from the outside you'd think
nothing could ever hurt me this much
I'm trying to replace the things I've lost
pretend like it's all real
but i cant do this for much longer
because thats just not how i feel
i don't know why i cant heal
left to simply suffer in misery
why i have to lose everything
that meant the world to me
i cannot find the light
to see the way out of this abyss
and i cannot explain the reasons
why I'm feeling like this
there is a void inside my heart
I've done all i can to be a whole
but of this pain that plagues me
i am of no control
i am unsure of who to trust
and where it is i belong
I'm trying to hard to be okay
but i must be doing something wrong
they say to let me in, let me love you
its something they really want to do
but its just not all that easy
because i need to love you too
and thats the hardest part of all
the part that always makes me want to cry
I'm on my hands and knees here
so won't anyone tell me why
i just want to fall in love again
feel the warmth that only love can bring
but i must be numb from pain
because i cannot feel anything.