It really broke my heart to read this poem. You have to know that things will be okay only when you let them be. You've got to let go and let God work in your life. I don't know about how religious you are, but I know from experience that no one can number out your life but God, and know no one can heal you but God. Please hang on, and know that you will be fine...Keep writing, and let new light in your life. Praying for ya... Love, Libby