My Suicide

It’s a pain that I never dreamed
An ache that won’t let me breath
My chest is crushed, my stomach nauseas
My hopes and dreams now rest beneath my feet

I cannot seem to function
In this world anymore
My thoughts are scattered abroad
While my emotions are in turmoil

I miss our talks
And the way you laughed
I even miss getting smacked
By that thick heavy atlas

I know you would want me to move on,
But I don’t think that is possible with you gone
I want to call you I want to talk
I miss you gamma
Please, don’t expect me to move on.

Why didn’t you take me with you?
Why was I left here all alone?
Why must I stay behind in a world that I despise?

I want to die
Every night I think about taking my life
I can no longer laugh without guilt slapping me in the face

Damn it gamma, you said you were fine
Why gamma, why did you lie?
You were suppose to be here
To watch me graduate next year

I now feel lifeless and hopeless
Full of pain and fear
I never want to hurt like this
Never again in a million years

Forgive me gamma
For wanting to die
Please forgive for me for taking my own life.