Sweet Relief In A Bottle

I reach into the fridge, my hands wrap around the icy cold bottle
Pulling it out I hug it closely to me like it was my own child
I then left it high in the air and kiss my new found friend
Who ever knew I would find sweet relief in a bottle
I twist the lid and smile as I hear that wonderful crackling noise
I raise the bottle to my lips “Cheers” I say and take a large gulp
I don’t have any second thoughts about what I’m doing
Even though I’ve never been much of a drinker what so ever
Hardly touched the stuff before this night except for the odd sip
But I only have one thought in mind, only one thing I want to achieve
All I want is to make the pain I feel inside of me go away
And I know the alcohol will make me feel happy
Or at least that’s what I think at the time as I start to drink
It doesn’t take me long to finish off that first bottle
I still feel the same inside maybe a little better but not enough
So I grab another bottle and down it in record time
I feel a little light headed now and start to smile
I could stop there I think to myself I feel pretty good now
Then a voice inside says to me “But you could feel better”
“What the heck” I say to myself and grab a third bottle
I laugh and smile as I feel myself becoming tipsy
This feeling of happiness and relief lasts for only twenty minutes
Until I realize that I was only fooling myself, I wasn’t really happy
Instead I had somehow managed to trick myself into thinking I was
At that point all my sadness returns but much stronger than before
I stumble out of the room heading up the stairs to my bedroom
I close the door tightly behind me and lean against it, my legs weak
I collapse onto the floor huddling in the corner, my arms wrapped around me
Tears begin to form in my eyes and slowly trickle down my pale face
My mind is invaded by thoughts of death and darkness
“Maybe someone will break in and murder me, I wouldn’t even try to fight them”
“I should just slit my wrists now, get it over and done with, make everyone happy”
“If only I had enough alcohol to make me pass out for the rest of the night”
“Why can’t I just die and be done with this life…..”
I sit there crying as the rain pounds on the roof outside and the wind howls
Finally I crawl out from my dark corner and look in the mirror
I stare intently into the eyes of this person I thought I knew
In front of me stands a scared little girl who tried to drown her sorrow in alcohol Whose eyes are red and puffy from crying, whose throat is sore from yelling
A girl who has lost the will to live, who can’t find her happiness anywhere
Who thought she could make it all better if she just got some alcohol in her

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