i prefer this version!

emma x
merry christmas!

I really liked this verison!... Merry X-mas! I'm gonna post a poem, so I'd be gladly for you to see it! :DCheers!

*Sedusha*

I think your original version was MUCH better. The progression of this fantasy had far more impact when the reader's imagination was left to wander about the essence of the box until it is described near the end of the poem.
--Lydia