Lingering Past

This is my eternal darkness
And I have come to accept it
Always alone in my world
Not a friend in sight
Mountains of dead ruins
Death and disease linger in the mist

A past more dark than any emptiness
One that I have to keep under bay
Or everything I love will go away
A secret you would say
But shouldn’t I at least know what that secret is?
I’m keeping something from my past from everyone even myself

Darkness fills the memory
And at times I can’t see the past
I’m still looking in the dark
Wondering where this pain is coming from
Sometimes I think I can see
Something dark lingering in my mind

But anytime I start to focus the picture goes away
And I’m left feeling the pain it once caused me
Left to fight what ever demon I have alone
This hidden demon asked so much of me
That my mind was willing to forget
And now a dark cloud lingers in my past

I have chased down this fiend
Yet every time I think I have grabbed it
It turns into a mist and blows away with the wind
And I’m left when the ashes it leaves
To remember that I had something
But never will I know what it really was

As I said I will fight this battle alone in my world
A world so dark that no light could ever escape
Looking for a demon to release this fear
A fear that engulfed my life with pain
A demon in my mind that I can not find
But to only know it’s there when my mind dreams its cold sweet lullaby