Years From Now

I put this pain away, with all my blood and my tears
All this depression that’s been haunting me these years
I box it all up and hide it in the very back of my mind
Knowing that, someday, years from now, I’ll open it and find…

A box full of heartache and so many long, lonely nights
Filled with anger and frustration, and all the lost fights
All the pieces of my broken heart and all my broken dreams
My last cry for help, my closing cut, my silent screams.

My darkest photos will stare at me, my eyes sullen and sad
No smile visible at all, my face full of the pain that I had
My eyes revealing the stories that no one ever asked about
And that gathered in my head amidst self pity and self doubt.

My old best friend, that razorblade, will likely still be stained
From all my hurt and anguish, all their lies and all my pain
My tears will still be wet with all those words I couldn’t say
And there will sit my depression, the same as it is today.

And maybe I’ll just laugh, remembering how sad I used to be
Or maybe I’ll just smile, and pick it up for all the world to see
And show them how hard I fought, and that I rose up from the fall
Or maybe I’ll just cry…because I never won at all.