Token Title

by Krete   Dec 22, 2004


Like a trophy held up high,
he holds you before our eyes.

The gaze of escape is high demand,
but hard enough to fully man.

For before our eyes sits a queen.
wrapped up in a coat so white,
hiding whats not quite right.

Eloquence of red and blue,
cauterized with something new.

Like a virgin rose plucked away,
you, my love, are no more a ray.

For in time he has done,
something more than ever won.

For you, my love,
are now, undone.

Rest at peace,
at least a little lease,
to sit by the side,
of your mothers cries,
and spoil none the fool of life,
and smile, content, rid of his strife.

My poor Token Title,
ripped of her life.

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Latest Comments

  • 19 years ago

    by Luke

    very good work my friend. it read extremely well and i enjoyed what seemed like a trip from the usual style. the stanzas were layed out well and it was definetely 5/5 material. bytheway, i never resubmit things because i dont like a vote. people will think what they think about my work and they deserve their opinion. peace man!

  • 19 years ago

    by Natalie84

    Your poems are so beautiful. I was reading some of the other comments and they all said I don't think I completely understood....like someone said that IS a sign of good poetry. Everyone looks at things differently...>Great job....

  • 19 years ago

    by Elizabeth Ann

    Amazing...not far from how a Bard would sing from how vivid you impress.
    A lovely poise that literally makes my heart swell. (5)

  • 19 years ago

    by Incognito

    Yeah the poem was good and i'm pretty damn sure that the meaning I took from it was completely different from the way you meant it, but i think that is a sign of good poetry, it really got me thinking hard. Thanx for the good read.
    *Incognito*

  • 19 years ago

    by paperdoll

    Initially agreeing with Suicide on this one, and then I read the poem over again and realised 47 readings later (cue: slight exaggeration) what you were getting at. (Maybe).

    I especially liked:

    For you, my love,
    are now, undone.

    Well done, and try not to fret when you feel your other poems arent working out.

    -paperdoll

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