If I Believe

Sitting in the darken closet, doors shut.
Tears rolling down my soft cheeks, remembering why I am here.
All that glistens does not shimmer, but here I sit as I cut.
What a disgrace is whispered as I glance into the mirror.

No one understands the pain I am in.
This blade is all thats keeping me sane.
The scars remind me of how life's been.
I've seen nothing but darkness and rain.

Isn't it obvious, what can't you see.
The thing i want to kill is much to deep.
I am not the real me, i am what you want me to be.
Knowing that, my life i must keep.

The skin on my wrist did nothing but keep the blood inside.
How could I harm such a defenseless thing.
This pain, I just wish it would die.
The blade must feel like such a King.

The King is always tempting me.
Screaming to be used, it wants to see a beautiful red river.
What is with this pain? Is this how it is supposed to be?
Just the thought of them finding me makes me shiver.

So to this i find, i can not go through with it.
My skin did nothing, it is something else, something more.
If I believe, I'll get better, bit by bit.
I'll throw down the blade and open the door.