Spewed Feelings

Today is the day that marks Christmas
and I must spew my true feelings
What I have inside of me
I can no longer be concealing.

The reason I ran from your love
was not actually for another guy
like you may have been drawn to think,
well it was actually only an alibi.

I felt too close to you so I escaped,
When someone gets too close I push away
because I get to scared of commitment and love
and excuses like that is all I know to say.

Loss of words and speechless nights
left me more than I ever believed excruciated
and I feel every so horrible for putting my pain before your truth
but I get the pain in return now to know I am hated.

Many gruelling days I try to reform a friendship
and restless nights, I pray that you will truly forgive me
and maybe, then, I could forgive my own self
Without you here my life is a little cloggy.

I miss the friend I had in you and the talks I cherish,
I miss the love and affection you gave my soul...
I wish I never hurt you and caused you pain,
I wish I could restart myself with you and take it slow.

To Show You how much I want you back in my life,
show you how much I miss your every word and what you do,
how much I cry and stress over what I done,
but most importantly take back my that lies and ignorance and show you I still love you.
~~Heather Craig~~