Why did you act diffrent?

Can't sleep,
Least tonight,
I want to die,
Want to comment suicide,
Getting pulled down by promises,
Getting pulled down by you,
Why do you care?
Why can't you see?
That suicide is meant for me,
Why are you hugging me?
When i'm nothing but a freak,
Why are you telling me these things?
Nothings ok,
Nothing will ever be,
Please stop looking at me,
As though you cared,
I'm starting to become scared,
Everything is to new,
Everything is happening because of you,
I want the knife back,
Please stop holding me,
Please just stop.....
Things aren't supposed to be this way,
You're supposed to be screaming and calling me names,
Yet you're just holding onto me and saying things will be alright,
Even when i tried to die,
You wouldn't let me....
Why?