Slice of freedom

by faith   Dec 29, 2004


I try my hardest not to resort to

cutting.

it may not be smart but at least it

makes me feel something.

i wish i knew how to deal with my

emotions in a safer way.

but till then this is what will get me

through each day.

as the blood drops roll off my

problems do too.

each time i do it i feel a type of

freedom so new.

it's the only feeling that's never gotten

old.

so each deep cut allows me to put my

emotions on hold.

but i hate when my friends see the

cuts and the scars.

cuz it remind me why i did it, and that

my problems haven't gone that far.

i just really wish it didn't have to come

to me picking up a blade.

and cutting so deep I'm left with a scar

that won't seem to fade.

after the first few cuts I'm left with a

wonderful feeling.

after that I'm left with a reaction so

sickening.

i truly regret it every time i do it.

it's not my fault though so many

things have pushed me to it.

the fact that i don't understand my

emotions or what they mean.

or why a blade to me is like a needle

to a heroine feign.

with each cut of the blade i feel a

sense of relief

a pain so numbing i forget whatever

problem brought me grief.

i know i have to stop this unsafe thing

I've begun to do.

but the only problem is i don't know if

i really want to.

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Latest Comments

  • 19 years ago

    by hopelessregret

    truly describes my life...keep up the amazing writing
    ~hopelessregret

  • 19 years ago

    by Cat

    I CAN RELATE I HONESTLY CAN, I DONT CUT THOUGH I SCRATCH BUT IT CAN LEAVE SCARS SOMETIMES DEPENDING ON HOW HARD I DO IT, MY FRIEND DID CUT AND IT WORRIED ME HALF TO DEATH...WHEN I STARTED TO SCRATCH HE WORRIED ABOUT ME TOO BUT HE UNDERSTOOD HOW I FELT ABOUT EVERYTHING AND HE'S BEEN TRYING TO HELP...I CAN TELL YOU THAT ONE NIGHT IT WAS A THURSDAY AND I GOT THIS CALL FROM MY FRIEND TINA SHE TOLD ME THAT MY FRIEND (I'LL CALL HIM "T") HAD CUT TOO DEEP AND HIT A NERVE AND HE HAD TO GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM, AS SOON AS SHE TOLD ME MY HEART SKIPPED A BEAT MAYBE 3, ALL I COULD THINK OF WAS HOW I WAS GOING TO GET DOWN THERE, BUT I COULDN'T BECAUSE IT WAS LATE AND I DIDN'T HAVE A RIDE SO I JUST SAT THERE IN SILENCE ON THE PHONE WHILE SHE WAS YELLING IN MY EAR THEN I STARTED TO CRY UNCONTROLABLLY, HUN I WAS SO AFRAID THAT I WOULD NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN SEE AT THAT TIME SHE HADN'T REALLY GIVEN ME SPECIFICS SO I WAS LIKE "OMG OMG WHAT'D HE DO DID HE STAB HIMSELF"I WAS JUST SCARED...ANYWAY I SAW HIM THE NEXT DAY BUT I COULDN'T LOOK AT HIM I DUNNO WHY I JUST COULDN'T I WAS AFRAID TO LOOK..IM JUST TRYING TO SHOW YOU WHAT MAY HAPPEN JUSE BE CAREFUL IF YOU'RE STILL GOING TO CUT .....here's my email please email me if u want to talk some more about this.... deadlyroses_16@yahoo.com bye

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