To afraid to not be used

I'm afraid I'm falling for you ...
and falling fast.

you come in and out of my life.
leave me to feel like I'm dying
on those lonely Grey darkened nights.
i am nothing more than a play toy for your affection.
you use my body and shed my internal cries.

more and more i fall for you though.
my mind screams, don't give into those eyes.
don't sink into lust from those lips.
my heart begs to mend what little i have left.
use my body ...

I'm afraid I'm falling for you,
to fast to even catch my breath.
to fast to reach out for your hand with out it passing.
and to slow to have my words heard.

as you kiss my flesh,
thoughts of having you as only mine enter my head.
my lips quiver,
why is this happening to me ?
i let you use me.
let you take what dignity i have left.

still I'm falling for you,
so hard there is fire scorching through my breath.
my hands are on fire.
my words burning to ashes.

the way your hand glides across my body,
the way your conception is like my own.

I'm afraid I'm falling for you.
and i am falling fast.

December 18, 2004