No More Fights

I'm tired now, exhausted...
No more fight left in me.
I got to the point and broke today,
Blindness from rage, I couldn't see.

I about hurt the one who gave me life,
The one who is my birth mother,
All I could think about in that moment,
Is how I'd like to see her smother.

For eight years this has been building up,
For years a battle within,
Trying to prove myself to her,
Even tho she too did sin.

I lived my life how I wanted,
Only to hear her fuss,
About how she thought I should live it,
And yell and scream and cuss.

I wanted to kill her today,
For constantly putting me down,
For never being good enough,
And always following me around.

I came to that breaking point,
And finally broke down in tears,
Because all I wanted from her,
Is acceptance, which I haven't seen in years.

We sat and talked, we both cried,
And finally she reached out and hugged me,
Its what I had wanted all along,
What took you so long to see?

Was it that I followed in your footsteps?
making the same mistakes?
Is it because I was so much like you?
Or because I was myself, and not fake?

God I hope its over,
I will always remember today,
Because I wanted nothing more than to hurt you,
But I would have killed myself, if I had done things that way.

I love you mom, I never stopped,
I simply wanted for you to see,
For once I am doing good,
And for you to finally accept me.